Being in the Moment
Taking responsibility for one’s own life, even in the face of great adversity when conceding defeat would be the easy way out, is an important aspect of Positive Psychology. Eileen Birkenhead’s Being in the Moment is a perfect example of ‘steering straight into the eye of the storm’, her life catastrophe, learning from moment to moment how to convert destructive energies into positive, mindful experiences. André, the central character in LOVE LIES, could learn a lesson or two from such a focused, yet so light-hearted and endearingly humorous attitude.
Arnfrid Beier, author of LOVE LIES: A Journal
"2007 wasn’t my best year. Husband life health job vanished. Friends said I was in a process, was at ‘shock’ and could look forward to ‘anger’. Well... It felt more like a catastrophe than stages in a process. The doctor diagnosed ‘situational stress’, but the situation I was in was the situation I was in, so what could I do?
I joined an eight-week course in mindfulness meditation. I liked the sound of it: learning how to ‘be’. I’d done enough thinking, worrying and doing, so learning about being a human ‘being’ sounded interesting. I cottoned on to being in the moment, in a moment. Being present with me sounded intriguing.
I didn’t get any meditation ‘buzz’ though. I’d imagined a warm glow kicking in during the practice, ‘curing’ what troubled me. Nothing happened, other than dozing off in the body scan meditations and getting a stiff neck in the seated meditations. I felt the same. Ah! Maybe it was because I was on a course... and at home, in peace and quiet, harmony and joy would surface. They didn’t. I realised that meditation was just about being with yourself, however you are.
At the end of the course I committed to daily practice: to just do it, and to use my breath as my anchor throughout the day. The catastrophe of my life still raged, but I liked this mindfulness, I got it. I use an electric toothbrush and I look forward to my mindful teeth-cleaning. I set the timer on the cooker for a three-minute meditation whenever I can, just to be with myself.
It’s a year since the Mindfulness course and I try to practise every day. I still haven’t had any warm glows, but something miraculous has happened. I know where I am. I don’t always like it, but I accept it non-judgmentally. I believe that what surfaces in me is worth watching and that thoughts are just thoughts and feelings are only emotions to be felt.
The change is subtle. Life is a catastrophe, but it’s my catastrophe and I handle it. When I think about what troubles me, I look at it and face what comes up. I’ve learnt to accept myself just as I am and now I can change. Knowing where I am in this moment feels OK."
Eileen Birkenhead
January 2009
© Dr. Arnfrid Beier January 2009
